“Resilience, happiness, and freedom come from knowing what to care about- and most importantly, what not to care about…”
Ahhh yes, where do I begin with the book that has most attention-grabbing title ever? To be honest, I thought the author might be a punk, but then I quickly understood where he was coming from in the first 3 pages. My dear friend Sam and I always said the key to happiness is giving less “Fs.” This doesn’t mean caring less about your hygiene, or your children, or your job, or how you treat people. It aligns perfectly with the book in the fact that it’s about caring less about things that DO NOT matter. It means dropping the constant fear and worry about what others are saying about you. It means forgetting what your gossipy neighbor thinks about your car. It means we need to stop feeling so much pressure about how we may appear on social media. Those are the f*cks we need to give less about- the unhealthy one’s that consume our minds all day leaving us asking ourselves whether we’re good enough. Not giving a f*ck doesn’t mean being indifferent; it means being comfortable with being different.
Reading this book made me feel totally normal for feeling exhausted. It made me feel okay for experiencing lows, and made me realize that during those lows and hardships, I don’t need to be desiring a different situation…because everything is how it’s supposed to be- bad and all. If you’re not experiencing highs and lows, it’s because you’re dead. “The desire for more positive experiences is itself a negative experience. And paradoxically, the acceptance of one’s negative experience is itself a positive experience.” Get it?
For example, pain is inevitable. The questions to ask yourself are “what pain do you want in your life? what are you willing to struggle for?” Happiness requires struggle, it doesn’t grow out of the ground like a tulip. Lifelong fulfillment and meaning have to be earned through the choosing and managing of our struggles. SO, in the words of the author, “what determines your success isn’t asking yourself what you want to enjoy. It’s asking yourself what pain are you willing to sustain?” Upon finding your answer, realize that you must give less f*cks about the painful process because that’s what the journey’s about. In addition to the epidemic of avoiding our fears is an influx of information overload. Having the world at our fingertips with social media, we’ve come to believe that exceptionalism is the new normal. Because of giving so many f*cks about unrealistic lifestyles and expectations, down spirals our self-worth, and we try and compensate through entitlement and addiction. The true f*ck you need to be giving is about how much value you hold, and how you’re appreciated just as you are right now.
This is not a book about settling. It’s about changing how you see your problems. It’s about how you measure failure & success. It’s about taking responsibility for the things that are truly imporant in your life, and not giving a f*ck about the trivial issues. Truly, it’s profound and ironically puts an inspiring spin on lessons we’ve all heard before. Read it! Or don’t, I don’t give a f*ck. 🙂
-Laura (all of those offended may subsititute “crap” for any F words to arrive at the same point and case).
Feature photo credit: burst.shopify.com